I investigated Panama with the same level of enthusiasm one might expect from a hog searching for truffles. To say I did “some research” would be like saying a skunk produces “some odor.”

I don’t know what, precisely, Milk of Magnesia is made of, but I’m fairly certain it was discovered after someone dropped a pebble into a volcano and said, “Ah yes, this will definitely rearrange the internal architecture of a human being.”