Everyone’s losing their collective minds over microplastics. Meanwhile I’m over here thinking: “Finally. Raw materials for my upgrade.”

Are there ever enough wind chimes? Now, if you ask my husband, the answer is a resounding, “Yes—about 15 wind chimes ago!” If you ask me, the answer is, “Of course not!”

My coworker and BFF announced on Zoom this morning, “I’m a pluviophile.”The word pluviophile rolled out of her mouth like a secret society password. I half expected a thunderclap and a butler to appear with an umbrella.

I don’t know what’s going on with the planets right now—maybe Mercury’s retrograde is doing cartwheels, or Mars has its warrior pants on—but I cannot sit still. I’ve been bouncing around the house like a human Roomba with a short attention span.

I’ve heard and read so much over the years about the major hate toward Crocs, and honestly, I don’t get it. I mean, they’re not made from actual crocodiles.