Too many women fall into the habit of doing and doing and doing—making the plans, smoothing the arguments, offering the kindness, extending the understanding. After a while they’re tired. But by then they’ve invested so much effort that walking away feels like admitting all that work was wasted.

I love the hardware store. That is where they keep the lumber. And aside from chocolate and a few other delicacies (all of which are, coincidentally, chocolate), there are few smells more satisfying than freshly cut lumber. Especially if you arrive at exactly the moment they’re sawing boards to order and the entire building smells like ambition and sawdust.

We’ve been trying to decide what to do about Valentine’s Day.