The Holes in the Road

Living with love that keeps leaving

Where something used to be. (Image: Ian Taylor)

I want another dog.

Yes, we still have two wonderful dogs, but the emptiness is there — the holes in my psyche that need to be filled. I feel like my pet road is full of potholes right now.

When we moved out here in 2020, we had Biko, Madison, Pinto, Queenie, Princess, and Daisy — all rescues.

The road was full then.

Relatively soon afterward, a coworker needed to rehome some puppies, and we brought home my sweet-smelling baby, Breeze.

Daisy went to live with my son-in-law, who already had another dog, Suzy, the same size and temperament. Their entire household fell in love with Daisy and needed to adopt her.

Then, dog by dog, Biko, Pinto, Queenie, Madison, Princess — they all passed away.

That’s where the potholes began to open.

While we were walking Breeze a few months ago, we were adopted by scruffy little Benny, a small terrier mix, black with white markings. He followed us for blocks and then jumped straight into our pickup when we were getting ready to leave. We searched for his people and finally decided that we must be them.

It’s hard to love so much and lose them.

Dogs don’t live long enough.

Breeze is the only one we got as a puppy, so we’ll have her longer than the others — but it still won’t be long enough.

I feel empty.

I need to pave the holes in the doggy pavement.

My husband isn’t ready for that. He was very close to the last dog we lost, Princess, and isn’t ready to try to replace her.

I know that the newly paved surface won’t be the same as the old surface, but the holes will be filled.

For a while.