Before I learned that it was sitting in the bed of his pickup, I had visions of this man pulling a full-size guillotine around behind him in one of those little red wagons we had as children.

According to a recent news story, a black bear in Colorado climbed into an unlocked SUV. The door closed behind him, trapping him inside. In his understandable desire to escape, he managed to lean on the horn. Repeatedly.

As it turns out, coffee is every bit as complicated as wine. The "bean" is actually the seed of a fruit. Where it grows matters. The soil matters. The elevation matters. Rainfall matters. Apparently coffee beans all have rich origin stories.

The name comes from Philippine mythology. Bakunawa is a giant sea serpent said to swallow the moon, causing eclipses.

From what I've read, kangaroos in the wild don't spend their entire lives standing under one tree. They travel. They explore. They cover a surprising amount of territory.

We spend our mornings drinking coffee, reading headlines on our respective glowing devices, and discussing whatever bizarre thing the Internet has coughed up overnight.

Every automobile manufacturer seems to have its own ideas about where everything should go.

The food appears to be the first shock. Visitors arrive expecting hamburgers. This is understandable. Our reputation abroad appears to consist largely of hamburgers, cowboys, and action movies.

Nothing remarkable about them. They weren't large. They weren't brightly colored. They didn't arrive in a velvet pouch guarded by tiny pharmaceutical elves.

If there is one thing mothers of young children know, it’s this: you do not hand a toddler fine china if you want your heart to continue beating in a normal rhythm. One dropped plate and suddenly you can hear your blood pressure pounding in your ears.

The truck had apparently shuffled off this mortal coil and departed for the Great Parking Lot in the Sky.

Unfortunately, insurance does not simply hand you a machine and say, “Congratulations on your commitment to oxygen. Sleep well.”

A few days ago, for instance, there was a lightning bolt along the left side of my vision. Not metaphorically. I mean an honest-to-goodness jagged streak of light, as though Zeus had taken a small personal interest in my optic nerve.

We’ve been trying to decide what to do about Valentine’s Day.